pardon me while i recount events in completely unpoetic language instead of having beautiful insight into things or whatever it is i try to do when i write this, it will only take a minute of your time.
i got into a bar fight last night. well, sort of. this guy who i sort of have met a few times sat down with my two girlfriends and i in our booth and was incredibly inebriated and we just sort of humored him for a while, but then he started railing on me not being a real writer or some ridiculous bullshit and i sort of argued with him a little about that, but mostly was just showing him how unreasonable he was being, which is probably a dumb thing to attempt while someone's trashed and then he referred to my friend lisa as a bitch when she got up to go to the bathroom and i yelled at him for that and told him to go away and then lisa came back and he was calling all three of us bitches and whores and bastards and i was just cussing him out, telling him we were going to leave and that he should just shut up and go back to his own goddamn table. then i grabbed the rest of his pitcher and poured it all into his glass, spilling it all on the table and told him to "go ahead and have some more beer". then we were turning away and he was still saying all this bullshit calling us all cunts and whores and bitches while moving out of the booth and sitting down at a table. so i was screaming at him and grabbed his glass and dumped his beer all over him. then i turned around to leave and all of my friends were sort of standing there and we were trying to get my two girlfriends and i together to go and he threw his empty glass towards me while my back was turned. it luckily didn't hit anyone, it just shattered on the floor, but sarah and i started yelling at the bar staff that this guy had just thrown a glass at me (and the music was in-between songs and everyone in the bar is just starring) and that he needed to leave. so the bartenders all come out from behind the bar and try to get this guy to go, at which point his girlfriend comes back from the bathroom and starts talking shit to sarah and saying that he didn't throw the glass and that he doesn't need to leave, trying to tell the bartenders that everything is okay while we're telling them, "there is broken glass over here" and then she says the most ridiculous thing of all - she starts asking me and my girlfriends if we're feminists, to which we just laugh at her and tell her to fuck off, etc. and then this argument goes on for a minute and then she starts saying she'll meet us outside (well, mostly she's saying this to my friend sarah who has gone remarkably ghetto all of a sudden, certainly for a jewish girl from shaker heights anyway) and sarah's just cussing this girl out and laughing the whole time saying that "sure, i'll meet you outside, what are you, stupid?" and the bartenders are still asking them to leave and this guy is still just making faces at me and applauding me and telling me to go write poetry about it all and i'm turning to all my friends, who are trying to figure out what's going on and who saw him throw a glass at me, and suddenly i'm just admitting that i spilled beer all over him, as though this is really bad and i must confess so it's not confused - i fucked up, etc. so then we just turn around and go and are pumped up beyond belief and can't sleep and i've got my head feeling weird from alcohol even still.

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